Whats your Poo telling you?

[Ruthless]

OK guys I ran across a book I'd like to share its titled "Whats your poo telling you" written by Anish Sheth, M.D.  I'd like to start with the intro and I'll go through the chapters daily 
INTRO
 Not unlike a snowflake, each bowl movement has a uniqueness that should be regarded with wondrous appreciation. Too often dismissed as useless and malodorous waste, poo has struggled since the dawn of time to receive the respect it deserves.
   Even though everybody poos, societal norms dictate that issues pertaining to poo be kept private. The act of pooing is too often hastily and covertly performed. Rather than embracing its potential for catharsis, the world has rendered the act of pooing to be an undesirable inevitability of everyday life.
Indeed, poo has long resided in society's outhouse.
   Through discussion of poo's diversity of shapes, sizes, colors, and smells, we hope to elucidate the inner workings of the gastrointestinal tract and to highlight the essential role poo plays in our physical and emotional well-being. Consider, for example, the feeling of unbridled elation that results from unleashing the perfect poo. Although difficult to achieve, this Poo-phoria lends a feeling of ecstasy, even invincibility, that some have likened to the perfect buzz. Athletes have learned to harness this power of poo and frequently employ Pre-Game Poo as a safe and legal way to enhance on-field performance.
   Like life, however, poo is not always a bed of roses. All of us have surely experienced the agonizing lack of fulfillment that can come from hard, pebble-like bowel movements or the anguish of incessant, torrential diarrhea.
   In the process of helping the reader to understand the inner workings of his or her digestive tract, this book will unlock the many heretofore unsolved mysteries of human poo...why are all the bathroom stalls at work always full after lunch?...what causes poo to float?...is it normal to go 3 times a day?...Whats the link between poo and toothbrushes?..can normal poo be green?... whats the deal with corn anyway?  Soo get ready for the answers to the question "whats your poo telling you?"   


Tommorows Chapter : De'ja' Poo
Synonyms: Veggie burgers, Leftovers,Corn-Backed Rattler and Sloppy Seconds

[Cajun]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[Ruthless]

Today's topic the De'ja' Poo
 
  "Haven't I seen that somewhere before?" Most notoriously involving corn, De'ja' Poo is perhaps the most
renowned and befuddling of all poos. A De'ja' poo is a bowel movementthat has remarkably familiar portions of a recent meal embedded in it. This poo can include a potpourri of colors, often containing pieces of vegetables and other items that look as though they do not belong among the mass of poo in which they are entrenched. When producing this kind of turd, you may wonder whether you chewed sufficiently or weather your body extracted any of the nutrients from the food you just ate. You may also wonder how your body can process heavy meats and pastas but not an innocuous kernal of corn.

DR. Stool Says: This "super-natural" experience is most often the result of consuming a meal loaded with insoluble fiber. While soluble fiber found in foods such as beans, nuts, carrots forms a gel-like substance when mixed with stomach secretions, the insoluble fiber contained in oat bran (and yes, corn on the cobb) passes through the GI tract largely unchanged. Humans lack the necessary enzymes to digest certain components of plant cell walls. The presence of these indigestible remnants embedded in your feces is what gives rise to the sensation of De'ja' poo. Dr. Stool says consumption of high-fiber foods like corn and celery can soften the stool, thus yielding just as much enjoyment on the way out as on the way in.

Tommorrow: The MONSTER POO
Synonyms: Lincoln Log, The Crowd-Pleaser, Double Deuce, The Five-Minute Diet

[DarthRacer]

Wow, just wow. All I ever wanted to know about my poop.

[Ruthless]

Wow, just wow. All I ever wanted to know about my poop.

It only gets better 

[Buster]

Bundy!!!! WTF?? Dude you got way to much time on your hands or your just way to bored!!!!!  Maybe your new screen name should be DR. Stool!!!!!    I know you just need to start another RC build!!!!!!  Quick, Put the poop down and go to E-bay and Click "Buy It Now"!!!!!!!! LMMFAO!!!!!

[Ruthless]

Bundy!!!! WTF?? Dude you got way to much time on your hands or your just way to bored!!!!!  Maybe your new screen name should be DR. Stool!!!!!    I know you just need to start another RC build!!!!!!  Quick, Put the poop down and go to E-bay and Click "Buy It Now"!!!!!!!! LMMFAO!!!!!

just posting a little Load of jibber jabber 

[Ruthless]

Today's Topic: THE MONSTER POO

     You may wonder "How did something that large come out of me" While sittting on the tiolet and vigorously straining to discharge a poo of this size, you feel like the turd took a wrong turn in your intestines and is attempting to come out sideways.You may feel the swelling of veins in your forehead and the beading of perspiration as you toil to force this mass of poo out of your system. Despite the strain, this internal bodily struggle will continue until the last turd exits. After discharging this Double Deuce, it is not uncommon to feel as though you just lost five pounds. For a quick second, you may even consider summoning your friends to witness firsthand the greatness of your feat.
     Despite the fact that these poos are not always the easiest to discharge, there is a great feeling of accomplishment and pride associated with the deposit of a Monster Poo. In addition to its massive girth, Monster Poo's most characteristic feature is its tendency to extend beyond the water surface. You may even fear flushing it without first using a tiolet brush to break it up into smaller pieces. Despite the separation anxiety that may result, we recommend promptly flushing the toilet-after you have had a chance to bask in the glory of your poo.

Dr. Stool Says:
   Although studies have not correlated the degree of straining with the size of a bowl movement, several factors play a role in creating a glacier-size turd. The "bulk" of the stool is directly related to the amount of fiber and water you consume. Picture the engorged appearance of your favorite legume after soaking it overnight in a bowl of water! A similar reaction takes place in the gut, where soluble fiber and water combine to form a swollen mass of turd.

Tommorrow: Poo-phoria
Synonyms: Holy Crap, Mood Enhancer, The Tingler

[Ruthless]

POO-phoria

     This poo can turn an atheist into a believer and is distinguished by the sense of euphoria and ecstasy that you feel throughout your body when this type of feces departs your system. The exhilaration from this defecation, large in volume but varying in form, is often accompanied by goose bumps and even a little light-headedness as the discharge of the toxins is completed. You feel energized, as if you just woke up from a great nap. To some it may feel like a religious experience, to others like an orgasm, and to a lucky handful it may feel like both. This is the type of poo that makes us all look foward to spending time on the toilet.

Dr. Stool says:
     This stool "high" is relatively safe, but can become an addiction for those who can willfully reproduce the sensation. The distention of the rectum that occurs with the passing of a large mass of stool causes the vagus nerve to fire. The net effect of this is a drop in your heart rate and blood pressure, which in turn decreases blood flow to the brain. When mild, the lightheadedness can lend a sense of sublime relaxation(the"high"). A more significant drop in brain perfusion can cause "defecation syncope," a dangerous syndrome that results in a transient loss of consciousness (the O.D., or Over-Doodie).


Tommorrow: The Dunce-Cap
Synonyms: Conehead, Tapered Wafer, Biggie Small

[Beane_O]

You know, there is something strange about reading all this. All the pretty girls in school that kinda grouped together always made ya think they either didn't do it or that when they did rose peddles only came out. After getting a bit older I realized that some of those girls probably haiting it on Fajita and meatloaf days. 

[Beane_O]

Today's Topic: THE MONSTER POO

      For a quick second, you may even consider summoning your friends to witness firsthand the greatness of your feat.
   

BWAHAHAH!  You know, there is some truth to that....

[Ruthless]

Today's Topic: THE MONSTER POO

      For a quick second, you may even consider summoning your friends to witness firsthand the greatness of your feat.
   

BWAHAHAH!  You know, there is some truth to that....

Yep, and its only getting better. This book has loads of facts 

[Ruthless]

The Dunce Cap

     As this type of bowel movement begins, you strain and feel like you are on the precipice of another Monster Poo however, when the cork is popped and the poo begins to leave your body, it becomes exponentially easier from beginning to end as the bowel movement flows out. After completion, when you gaze at your conquest, you notice that the poo began with a thick base but then scaled down to a point. While you feel refreshed now that you have finished defecating, you wonder wheather the initial pain and strain were necessary. You long for a more uniform poo, where the bulk is more evenly distributed.


Dr. Stool says:
     Remember when your mother said,"Don't try to be something your not"? You had no idea this sage advise would apply to your defecating practices. The tapering appearance arises from one's attempt to craft an otherwise modest amount of stool into a long, robust log (as in kindergarten, when you tried to roll a long snake out of a small piece of clay). The narrow ending is a result of your continued straining and the pinching of your external anal sphincter (like squeezing the last bit of icing out of a pastry bag).
     Plagued with one too many coneheads? Try relaxing on the tiolet. Resist the urge to contract your abdominal muscles in order to more quickly expel the log. Find a quiet, isolated stall where you won't feel pressured to quickly finish the deed. Still finding yourself tensing up at the wrong moment? May we recommend reading a good book about poo to help you "loosen up".

Tommorrow: Performance Enhancing Poo
Synonyms: Anxiety Poo, Preparatory Poo, Running Runs, The Pre-Game Poo

[Ruthless]

Performance-Enhancing Poo

     Sometimes intentional and other times triggered by nerves, the Pre-Game Poo is standard for both competitive athletes and for people with high-pressure presentations looming on the horizon. You never want to have to take a break in the middle of the key proposal or sale, it would be unheard of to call a time-out for a mid-game bathroom break. With empty bowels, you can run faster and jump higher. Similary, the absence of stool in your colon will make your presentation crisper and diminish fears of an unscheduled pit stop or a loud gaseous emission. Unplanned Performance-Enhancing Poos often take on a more liquid consistency than their planned counterparts. Although these poos may not have the grandeur of some, their timing is critically important.

Dr Stool Says:
     The effect of stress on the GI tract is widely known. What has only recently been discovered, however, is that this stress-induced abdominal cramping and urge to defecate is caused not solely by the brain's messaging, but by the intestines' release of hormones and neurotransmitters. The "enteric nervous system" is a complex array of nerve fibers that is remarkably independent in its ability to regulate the digestive system. Columbia professor Dr. Michael Gershon definitively demonstrated our "second brain's" autonomy when he performed a classic experiment on a guinea pig colon. After  surgically removing the colon from the guinea pig, he showed how a pellet placed at one end caused coordinated colonic contractions that quickly resulted in expulsion of the pellet from the other end. This confirms the suspicion that your GI tract has a mind of its own!


Next: Floaters vs. Sinkers
Synonyms: Aircraft carrier vs. Submarine, The Buoy vs. The Anchor

[Ruthless]

Floatersvs.Sinkers

     One of the most mystifying characteristics of poo is the tendency of some turds to float ond others to sink to the bottom of the bowl. Wheather big or small, brown or black, it is impossible to predict wheather a poo will be a Floater or a Sinker until it hits the water and settles in. The obvious benefit of a floater is that it won't leave racing stripes in the bowl. However, some stubborn Floaters have been known to resurface after multiple flushes, a distant cousin of the De'ja' Poo.

Dr. Stool says:
     There are two components of stool that cause it to hover on the surface of the tiolet water: gas and fat. Most commonly, Floaters are due to the fourth burrito or second helping of chili from the day before. When gas is the culprit, you may also notice your fart frequency increasing above normal levels.
If the Floaters last for a day or so, there is no reason to be alarmed.
     Foul-smelling (I mean, really foul), greasy, floating stool is more worrisome. It usually indicates the presence of fat in the stool. This is never normal and often reflects an underlying problem in the GI tract, most commonly involving the pancreas or liver. The pancreas, liver, and gall bladder normally team up to help the body digest the fat we consume. When these organs become diseased, dietary fat passes through our GI tract largely undigested and results in the formation of floating, "oil-slick" stool.

Next: Braille Poo
Synonyms: Baby Ruth, Porcupine, Rocky Road